DO NOT WANT.

I will stop ranting so much, and post more awesome things like apples. Apples are still awesome and underrated. STILL. After all of my most heartfelt effort to save them, they are still going down in popularity. Bring them back!

Also groovy. That needs to come back.

Apples are groovy.

THERE!!!! I am a genius.

I was going to leave it there, but decided that was completely unacceptable for a post. I just think that generally, fanfiction is awesome.

There is some that is a bit… well… odd, to say the least. And some that is rather badly spelt. But once in a while, you come across a real gem of a story. One with original ideas, and without badly written sex scenes every ten lines.

That is the kind of fanfiction I like.

In a completely unrelated vein, I have decided to start writing fanfiction. I have started a crossover story about The Legend of Zelda, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

It will be TOTALLY awesome.

Also, I want an apple.

This can often be a problem for me. For example, I like to read fanfiction. But if that story is not spelt perfectly, then my attention just wanders. I understand that the author may have spent a lot of time and effort on their story, and it may be an excellent story, but I just can’t take you seriously if you don’t know how to spell.

I underlined that bit for emphasis. I hope that shows.

Yes, this is now a bit of a rant, but I feel that this is a problem. Many people can’t distinguish between their, there and they’re or your and you’re. Nowadays, all you need is a spell checker and an internet thesaurus and you sound like a bloody genius.

In my writing, I naturally use long, or ‘fancy’ sounding words, often prompting my teachers to ask if I use a thesaurus. It all comes from my brain. I think that people should spend more time learning their English, and less time posting inane nonsense on the Facebook.

Rant over.

Many apologies.

(I just read this over, and it gets more ranty as it goes on. Strange)

Years ago, apples were the only fruit available to the poor, as they were one of the easiest fruits to grow in the climate of England. They were also cheaper than other, more exotic fruits, such as grapes. This is mainly where the saying, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away!” comes from.

Eating an apple in the morning is more effective at waking you up than caffeine, they are a good source of vitamins A, B1, B2, B6, C, E, and K, and contain minerals such as potassium, calcium, manganese and magnesium. (There are other vitamins and minerals, but most of them just sound scary and off-putting.) They are hydrating, and there are lots of other, medical reasons to eat them. For those reasons which I cannot be bothered to write, click this exciting link here. –> http://www.healthdiaries.com/eatthis/10-health-benefits-of-apples.html

Apples are pretty and also bloody delicious. Think about it, would Snow White have risked her life for an orange? NO. She would have not. They’re just not the same, are they?

He’s called Bertram, or simply Bertie, after P.G Wodehouse’s Bertie Wooster. He suits it.

We have had him for a week, and he is nine weeks old. he seems to have only two “settings”, so to speak. His “sleep” setting, and his “play with ALL the things” setting. I prefer the sleep one, as it contains less painful claws.

Recently, he discovered that when someone is peacefully sleeping, it is excellent fun to sneak into the quilt and attack their legs. He is also very bad at sneaking, being black and white he stands out rather a lot.

This was the first kitten instalment, probably the first of many. Yay!

hah sideways kitteh

I am only writing this now as I have some rather important coursework to do. Yes, I am a procrastinator. And a professional at that.

But seriously. I am one of the most terrible procrastinators ever. In history. Literally. Actually.

Every essay that I have ever had to write, ever, has been written the night before the due date, or sometimes the morning it’s due. I don’t think that I have ever been prepared for an exam.

I always just keep thinking “There’s always tomorrow!” every day. EVERY DAY. Until the exam comes and I panic, then fail.

*Sigh…*

And I always seem to have too many of them at once.

I never have just one, or have them evenly spaced out. For example, last Friday I had three in one day. And then I have one next Monday.

Now this seems strange to me. Why have three in one day, and then a week of sheer NOTHING, and then another exam?

BAFFLING.

The person who co-ordinates these things is strange.

I know that I am not the centre of the universe, or anything, but I totally should be. Yes, I am that adorably self-involved.

(It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day, it’s a new liiiiiiiiiiiife….fooor meeeee…..)

Sorry, slight musical outburst there. It happens sometimes. Uncontrollable.

Technically, it’s been the new year for two days now. It feels exactly the same as the old year so far.

I will now present a small list of important and significant things that I have done so far this year.

1. Experienced a horrific nine hour night flight in which I did not sleep much, and when I did, I had really strange dreams as I was listening to music.
2. Eaten too much Christmas cake.
3. Dyed my hair.

Only two days in and I have done all this! I can’t wait for the wonders to come!

Before I forget, I have bad jet-lag. I fully expect to accidentally fall asleep on someone at college tomorrow. Hopefully someone I know, and not a complete stranger as that would be somewhat awkward.

Some people may call it a mere cold, but progressively over this week I have referred to it as:

1. The Plague

2. The Dreaded Lurgy

3. Gangrene of the Lungs

4. Syphilis

And the current name is diphtheria.

You may call me a hypochondriac, but you can call me what you want in two weeks when I am dead.

How much better would your day be if you slid around everywhere on your belly?

I believe the answer is: “Substantially”.

And also, during the winter, the male penguins incubate their egg in the snow, almost dying in the process. While they are doing this, the females are out at sea, eating fish, getting fat and basically ‘chilling’.

Apologies for the terrible pun.

But honestly, penguins are great. I would love to be reincarnated as a penguin. If that sort of thing happens.