I think I BROKE MY DAMN HAND

I had a completely brilliant idea for something to write on here. but unfortunately, I forgot it. This is what I have come up with to replace it. As soon as I remember my original, and EXCELLENT idea, I will put it up here for you peasants to read.

I joke, I joke. You’re not all peasants. Just most of you.

Gather round children, and I will tell you the story that the title alludes to. See, I can use advanced vocabulary. Look how good I am… and stuff

Anyway, I was on a MISSION. This mission involved making tea in the time it took my laptop to load a decent amount of the film I was trying to watch (A Clockwork Orange, if you’re interested), which would take a few minutes because of how TERRIBLE AND SLOW poor Mufasa is.

I made the tea, with style, dignity and GLORY. Plenty of time. So much time, in fact, that I decided to get some sustenance, in case I were to starve to death halfway through a film. That would be truly, truly tragic.

I had my snacks in my hand. All I had to do was get up the stairs, and into my room, where I could watch the film. It was a distance of maybe twenty steps.

On the way up the stairs, I managed to whack my wrist on the banisters, which then forced me to go into the kitchen and almost PASS OUT ON THE TABLE FROM PAIN. Four steps. I went four steps from the kitchen.

I AM SO ACCIDENT PRONE HOW AM I STILL ALIVE

yes, so my wrist was purple and twice the normal size. Now it’s red and slightly larger than normal.

Well, that was unnecessarily dramatic.

But yeah, I thought it was broken but it’s PROBABLY NOT AND THAT’S GOOD

 

Essays. Damn them.

 

The first day back at college, four page essay due in four days. NOT THAT I’M ANGRY OR RESENTFUL OR ANYTHING. NOPE.

Actually, I’m not. Because it gets us straight back into the mindset of working, which is good for me because otherwise I’d spend three months doing nothing, then panic as the exams approach. Or in other words, what I did last year.

This year, I am actually quite determined to do work, and pass the myriads of exams and resits that I have to do, mostly through my own fault and failures.

And yes, I am writing this when I’m supposed to be doing the essay. Because I am a master procrastinator. You know me so well, me.

To prove my dedication, I’m actually writing the essay as soon as I’ve been given it, instead of waiting until the last minute. DEDICATED.

I mean, it’s about ‘Frankenstein’. How hard is it to ramble for a bit about gothic conventions? NOT VERY.

Also, this is my attempt at regular posting. This is the best it’s going to get over here.

 

 

 

The Satanic Spider, or why I have been stuck on a chair for four hours now

I was having a great time, casually watching my way through season three of Supernatural, when I saw it.

Just out of the corner of my eye, a shadow. Moving.

THE BIGGEST DAMN SPIDER EVER OHMYGOD TERRIFYING

It’s the size of a MOOSE. Seriously. A MOOSE.

And so I did the logical thing. Sat on my legs, and refused to move until it is DEAD, or, at least back in hell where it belongs.

I lost it temporarily. And that is just the worst thing. Because you know it’s there, waiting to do terrifying spidery things to you if you move, but you can’t see it. It could be anywhere.

I even tried to befriend it, gain its trust. Purely so I could exorcise it whilst it wasn’t looking, though. It didn’t accept my friendly advances.

I cannot leave this chair. It’ll get me.

I just have to hope that the cat eats it.

Maybe… I’ll never get to update this again. Because a moose sized satan spider killed me.

I love you all.

 

I am bad at things

I’m sorry.

I have neglected you. And now I feel terrible.

You may have needed me, and I just wasn’t there for you.

I haven’t changed. I’ve always been like this, more or less.

I won’t forget about you again, my dear blog.

I know I’ve said this before, many times, but this time, it’s real. I REALLY mean it.

Promise.

 

…That was more weird than I wanted it to be. I’m not going to change it, though. I’m trying to accept the way I write, and not to adapt it too much. I want it to feel more natural, and not like it’s been carefully manufactured. Which it hasn’t.

But seriously, that was slightly creepy. I’ll try really hard not to do that again.

I’ll also try to write on here more often.

I also think I failed all of my exams. If I did, then at least I failed them in style. That’s what’s most important.

 

Revision. Well, kinda

Actually not much revision has actually been done. I have done SOME, but probably not enough. Whatever.

So, I have 9 A level exams. Four of these are resits, because I failed them the first time. Oh dear.

In about four weeks, I have to learn two years worth of maths, a years work of Chemistry, and a years worth of English.

I’m getting there. Slowly. VERY slowly.

As I have mentioned on here before, (effort to link, find it yourself if you’re that bothered really), I am an excellent procrastinator. It also doesn’t help that the cat is attention seeking.

I have been playing WAY too much Minecraft. Seriously, that game sucks you in. Almost literally.

F1 also occasionally rears its awesome head to further distract me. But I really don’t mind that too much.

What annoys me the most is the overwhelming urge to complete as many mundane tasks I possibly can. Like rearranging my itunes, or my shoes, (which doesn’t take long, there aren’t really that many to organise), or trying on every item of clothing I can find. Which does take long. VERY LONG.

Also plucking my eyebrows. I’ve become extremely vigilant.

Yes, I know I probably shouldn’t be writing this right now. In fact I almost definitely shouldn’t. But I have managed to justify it to myself as practice for my English exam. Which is in two days.

I am extremely excellent at unnecessary justification. Especially recently. (Check that vocabulary. Totally going to pass that thing. Aww yeah…)

 

Motivation, and my lack thereof

I love that word. ‘Thereof.’ It just sounds amazing.
Anyway. Motivation.
I really need a motivator. My exams start in three weeks, and I have no desire to revise.
I need one of those people who follow me around and shout at me to do things. That would be extremely helpful. You can probably hire people to do that…
I really should be revising, as I have nine exams, including four resits but NOT including my Chemistry EMPA, or practical exam.
Nine is a lot.
Nine A level exams.
Oh dear god…

I dislike writing on my iPad.
I have become too accustomed to the spellchecker on this. I was writing with a real pen today, spelt something wrong and was confused that I couldn’t delete it or have another option.
I AM TERRIBLE AT STAYING ON TOPIC, and for that I wholeheartedly apologise. I feel like doing Chemistry now, so I’d better do it before that feeling goes.

 

‘My terrible taste in music’, or ‘Some songs I really like and would recommend’

I prefer the second title.

Anyway, whenever someone I know finds out what I like to listen to, they judge me terribly. Or try to disown me.     It depends on how much they know me, to be honest.

One of my favourite artists is Eminem. If you look at me, face to face, I really don’t seem like the type of person who listens to angry rap about murder, and other such odd subjects. I’m quite shy, and a little bit strange. I HAVE A BLOG. TYPICAL EMINEM FANS DO NOT BLOG.

I just love his music. The anger that he shows seems to trivialise my problems, and just generally cheer me up. I really started listening to it when my parents split up, and I found an old Marshal Mathers LP in the cupboard. I remembered these songs from when I was young (the clean versions obviously) and started to get into his music.

Recently, I have become slightly obsessed with Queen. I went to stage school, and so have been brainwashed into constantly singing and/or dancing. For the past week, I’ve had ‘Fat Bottomed Girls‘ stuck in my head, and have infected several people.

Last summer, my friend and I (proper grammar there) went down to London. It was a strange journey. We went to see We Will Rock You, and, due to lack of sleep, I became convinced that I had been ‘Inceptioned’ and it was all just a dream. And now I can’t remember the first half of the show. Which is disappointing as the tickets were rather expensive.

There is more I want to talk about, but I’m tired and also lazy.

I might turn this into a two-part thing.

Yes. I will.

To be continued…(maybe)…

 

 

Blogging, and punctuality

These two subjects are almost completely unrelated. but never mind.

In the true spirit of oddity, I will start with the second subject mentioned in the title. Punctuality. Something I am terrible at. It has got so bad, that my friend and I discussed telling each other to meet half an hour before we actually want to meet.

THIS IS VERY BAD, especially when you are 17 and can’t get anywhere on time. I don’t even know how I manage it. It is getting ridiculous. I truly believe that I need help.

I’m not really sure of the relevance of that, but smeh, anyway, on with the blogging!

I find it difficult to keep to a schedule of when to post, so it normally ends up being totally random. I apologise. I also need to start planning things, instead of improvising. Off topic AGAIN. SORRY.

What I actually wanted to say, is that I don’t know how people do it.

How they manage to blog every day, or every week, or whenever they have time.

Because I am so bad at life, I genuinely can’t keep to an actual schedule for anything.

I struggle enough at college trying to remember what day it is. I AM DOOMED.

So… this had no point at all, and just turned into a giant bunch of ramble. SORRY. I will try to put something meaningful, or more on an actual topic, sometime in the future.

I’ll set a reminder, or write it on my face or something. I will try REALLY hard not to forget (and that’ll work) SHUT UP BRACKETED TEXT YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT MY LIFE

Maybe I should try to sleep now.

 

Sadness, and how I fix it.

Lately, I have been feeling rather sad, for no particular reason at all. This was confusing, as I like to know how and why things happen to me. So I decided to write something short about how I personally cheer myself up again. Hopefully, some of these may help you, when you are feeling down.

One thing I like to do is to listen to some awesome music. Oasis normally works, but if I feel angry then rap always cheers me up. Music has been proven to improve mood through studies, but you don’t need a study to prove that, really. Also, ridiculously cheesy or bad music seems to make you feel better. I don’t know why this happens, but it gives me an excuse to listen to it so I just accept it.

Drinking tea works for me. This may be because I am English, and stereotype dictates that I must drink tea to be classed as an English person. Or food in general. But too much food makes you fat. Remember that.

Painting, or drawing is extremely therapeutic (spelt that right FIRST TIME…BOOM) and pretty too. The feeling of having done something that you can be proud of, of achievement, is very fulfilling. I’ve been doing quite a lot of that recently.

Learning something new! Like learning pi to as many places as you can (3.14159265358979323846), or something maybe more useful would be better. Like the ukulele, or Latin. Latin is good.

I hope this helped. This is only what makes me feel better, but maybe one of these will work for you.

 

New iPad? Really?

There is a new iPad coming out then. This was my face when I found out. =O

Apparently, three weeks ago was the optimum time to sell old iPad 2’s. This was also the time I got my iPad. This irritated me, as I had no idea that there was a new one coming out, and would have completely waited a few weeks for the new one.

The only thing is, I don’t think that there is really enough difference between the new and the old model to warrant a whole new iPad. If there is a new one, I think that it should be radically different. Like the iPad 2 had a front facing camera, which the original iPad didn’t.

The only real difference in the iPad 3 is the fact that it has a higher resolution screen. Which will, in about three seconds, be completely covered with fingerprints that you will be unable to see anything anyway.

I’m not prejudiced, or an Apple hater, (in fact, I am quite a lover of both Apple and apples), but I don’t think it is revolutionary enough. There should be lasers, or downloadable food or kittens or something.

There you go, Apple. Downloadable kittens. Something for you to work on. An ultimate goal.

You’re welcome.