¡Tragedy!

I have lost the remote to Hamlet, my speaker pig. This may not sound so bad, BUT IT IS. If I put my music device into Hamlet, it starts to play loud music. It also does not charge as well as it could, as it is playing music. I can’t change the song (unless I get up and change it manually, but whatever), and I am scared of changing the volume in case I break it. I am not very good at not breaking things. If anything stops working my method of fixing it is normally to hit it. This works on some things, like

1. Calculators
2. Wii remotes
3. Horses

Unfortunately, this works slightly less well on other things, such as

1. Friends, Minions or maybe Servants, whichever word you choose, (although it does work on servants)
2. Laptops (sorry, Mustapha)
3. Cats
4. Hot kettles

I really need a more sophisticated way of doing things. And, to finish, words of advice.

If you hit a stringed instrument, eg. a violin or a guitar,it is very likely that it will go out of tune.